Who are you trying to impress anyway?

POP POST Who are you trying to impress anyway?

Who are you trying to impress anyway?

A friend asked me this exact question several years ago.  At the time, I thought he was being bloody cheeky, (smarty pants!) not to mention, a tad rude.

Truth can be uncomfortable like that.

It’s hard to accept that the purpose of our lives is NOT to impress or please other people.

I mean – who doesn’t want to feel accepted, liked, and appreciated?

This has been my way of living for more years than I care to admit. Although I understand just how much of a stress cocktail, perfectionism and people pleasing can be – it’s a habit that I am still learning to unlearn.

 How can you stop worrying about what others think of you?

:: Baby steps.  If you can’t stop caring about what everyone thinks about you, start by caring a little less.

:: Bring some awareness to your decision making. Are you doing this to appear somehow better in the eyes of another person?  Are you trying to be all things to all people and spreading yourself too thin (feeling stretched and resentful is a good indicator that you are).

:: Take fewer things personally. Learn to be ok with dissension and differing points of view.  Watch yourself when you find yourself agreeing, just to be agreeable!

:: When you take a stand for yourself – be ok with feeling embarrassed, uncomfortable or a little anxious. Don’t expect it to be easy to begin with. It’s not.  And when its not, remember that a little self compassion goes a long way.

:: Practice being you. I know this can sound trite, – but I truly believe that authenticity is a practice . Years of people pleasing leads to a disconnect.  Who are we really? What are we willing to take a stand for?

:: Notice that there is something incredibly powerful and sexy about being comfortable in your own skin.  It feels good having your own back and being your own best friend!

Too many of us spend our time, investing energy in keeping everyone else happy, because we are scared of being ourselves.  We haven’t even given ourselves the privilege of getting to know who we really are.

Oscar Wilde said it perfectly: “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.”

And from now on – if someone asks – who are you trying to impress anyway?  Answer, No one but myself.
36537AFECECB02374C1B7A4B5318F1EA Who are you trying to impress anyway?


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  1. Love this post Kirri. I am getting better at this as I get older. I really am caring less and less about what people think. I can now leave the house in unironed clothes and no make up. Very liberating!!
    Sonia @ Natural New Age Mum recently posted…Choc Berry Mousse TartMy Profile

  2. Kirri – perfectly timed. I have been feeling lately like I’m just not impressing anyone, least of all myself. A friend of mine has really raised her profile lately and has just found out she has a fabulous new job. I’m really happy for her, but I have been feeling unsuccessful/boring in comparison. And then last night I thought to myself – why should I feel any less about myself just because of her good news – it is crazy isn’t it! Comparison and perfectionism are such big enemies.
    Kathy – yinyangmother recently posted…Pieces of the puzzleMy Profile

  3. Who am I NOT trying to impress might be a more apt question… This is definitely an area I am working on. If I could just get my big fat ego to step out of the way, I’d have a clearer picture of who I am!!
    Jo (down to eath mother) recently posted…Three reasons to kick harsh chemicals out of your homeMy Profile

  4. I can’t remember but I don’t think it worked anyway. Seriously I feel if you live as you ought and think as you should what others think it is up to them and should not affect your own sense of well-being
    countingducks recently posted…You Would Not Love Me NowMy Profile

  5. Lorraine Hallam says:

    Loved this post Kirri. You hit the nail right on the head. BTW I I have started writing, practicing the keyboard and playing my guitar again. Feels great! Something for me.

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