Who are you trying to impress anyway?
A friend asked me this exact question several years ago. At the time, I thought he was being bloody cheeky, (smarty pants!) not to mention, a tad rude.
Truth can be uncomfortable like that.
It’s hard to accept that the purpose of our lives is NOT to impress or please other people.
I mean – who doesn’t want to feel accepted, liked, and appreciated?
This has been my way of living for more years than I care to admit. Although I understand just how much of a stress cocktail, perfectionism and people pleasing can be – it’s a habit that I am still learning to unlearn.
How can you stop worrying about what others think of you?
:: Baby steps. If you can’t stop caring about what everyone thinks about you, start by caring a little less.
:: Bring some awareness to your decision making. Are you doing this to appear somehow better in the eyes of another person? Are you trying to be all things to all people and spreading yourself too thin (feeling stretched and resentful is a good indicator that you are).
:: Take fewer things personally. Learn to be ok with dissension and differing points of view. Watch yourself when you find yourself agreeing, just to be agreeable!
:: When you take a stand for yourself – be ok with feeling embarrassed, uncomfortable or a little anxious. Don’t expect it to be easy to begin with. It’s not. And when its not, remember that a little self compassion goes a long way.
:: Practice being you. I know this can sound trite, – but I truly believe that authenticity is a practice . Years of people pleasing leads to a disconnect. Who are we really? What are we willing to take a stand for?
:: Notice that there is something incredibly powerful and sexy about being comfortable in your own skin. It feels good having your own back and being your own best friend!
Too many of us spend our time, investing energy in keeping everyone else happy, because we are scared of being ourselves. We haven’t even given ourselves the privilege of getting to know who we really are.
Oscar Wilde said it perfectly: “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.”