This week, we have been busy defining and redefining self love, sharing personal break-throughs on facebook and farewelling our former party girls.
All in a jumbled celebration and acknowledgement of self love!
Today, I’m stoked to welcome back Deb Dane – who has contributed a letter of love and compassion, to her current self.
Happy International Self Love Day!
I think we have all heard the line “how do I love thee let me count the ways”.
There is no limit to the numbers of love letters and poems that exist.
We also find it no trouble to express beautiful and uplifting words of encouragement to people we know – not even reserved for those we are closest to.
So why is it so hard to deliver words of love, compassion and encouragement to ourselves?
Are we not worthy of the same level of care?
Is it uncomfortable?
Are we held to a higher standard than everyone else we meet?
As much as I believe in myself and think I am awesome (some days) I still have that hyper critical voice in my head and she sometimes invades my heart.
I get annoyed with myself for any mistakes – as if it were even remotely possible to avoid them all.
I hold myself back when I get caught up in comparisons – why even start when I will be never be as good, popular or successful as “her” (too many “her”s).
I forget my own message that we are all enough as we are .
I thought today I would write myself a note of love and compassion that I could read back again and again until it quiets the voice and invades my heart.
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A self love letter
Dear Deb,
Every day I want you to remember 3 little words – you are enough. You do enough, you care enough, you are strong enough, you are kind enough, you give enough, you love enough, you – are – enough.
Each day you stay true to yourself all while growing and changing and moving in new directions. You reconcile what works with what must change. You are sure and yet you stay open to new ideas and viewpoints.
When days come that bring the voice to the forefront and you hear negative words and feel them cutting you down please tell that bitch to shut up. Would you let her talk to your daughters like that? Would you let her talk to your friends like that? Then do not let her talk to you like that.
I want you to know that in your 40 years you have lived a lifetime. You have survived. You managed to stay open to love and keep fighting for it. You continue to learn and to teach. You are a homebody who travels, an introvert who socialises and connects.
It is okay to break open fully and stop being in control all the time.
It is okay to make mistakes and messes and not know the answers.
It is okay – and necessary – to go and play and breathe and do nothing.
It is okay to figure things out as you go, to invest in yourself, to take chances and see whether you fly or fail. The trick is what you do next after you fly or fail. Both still require a “what next?”.
You are okay. You are enough.
Remember another 3 little words – I – love – you.
Deb Dane blogs at Home Life Simplified about authentic and intentional living. Her aim is to inspire people to get in touch with what is important to them and use those values/priorities as the main building blocks of their life – doing whatever is right for them.
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One of the self-love gifts you have revealed to me is the importance of just being yourself.
I don’t have to like everything about me but I can accept myself and the more that I step out as ME, (instead of the chameleon that I used to present) – the more I am assured that I am enough, enough, enough.
Thank you for that my beautiful friend xx
Thank you for being there for me as well. You are definitely enough xx
Deb @ Home life simplified recently posted…A story to tell – interview with Ivy from Ivy’s PPD blog
♥. There is no way in the world I would talk to my children (or anyone else) the way I have spoken to myself at times. I am definitely ok, and I am enough.xx
Deb @ Aspiring Mum recently posted…Banana Chia Muffins
I know – when we look at it like that we know we would never do it so why do we allow it to ourselves – you too are definitely enough xx
Deb @ Home life simplified recently posted…7 tips to help kids get the most out of travel
I know my comments don’t always seem relevant, but I love visiting your site anyway. Today I’m revelling in your use of the word “stoked”, which is just brilliant and made me smile half way round the world away from you. That’s the beauty of Blogging
countingducks recently posted…A Curious Ambition
You like a bit of Aussie talk do ya? That’s good – I like your accent too and appreciate the fact that you visit and comment, even when the content might not be completely your cuppa tea
Love this, thank you…and great comments too (so true, Deb@Aspiring Mom). I started my day spreading Deb’s You Are Enough wisdom around my little world and now I am ending it with a little dialogue of what my love letter to myself would be….just wonderful! Thank you Ladies! xx
love to you beth – you seriously rock!
Deb @ Home life simplified recently posted…10 posts to help you have an organised life
This really resonated with me: “It is okay to break open fully and stop being in control all the time.”
Sometimes we just hold on for dear life, afraid to let it all fall apart.
Beautiful love letter, Deb. Thanks for being vulnerable.
Adrianne Munkacsy recently posted…The Second Secret to Higher Engagement
When I started reading this post, I thought you were going to say, “I love myself” or “I love me” (cliche…) but your powerful words of “I. Am. Enough.” stopped something in my heart. They carry so much more weight. They cut to the core of all those expectations we pile on ourselves, all that chiding we do for “missing the mark”, “not being perfect”. I struggle with this too. Like you, I am “…..a homebody who travels, an introvert who socialises and connects” and thus have learnt to change and grow. But there is more to come and more to go and I need to remember those three words almost as a mantra before I get lost in the swirl of craziness and stress again. Thank you for sharing this, Deb. Thank you for posting this, Kirri.
Veronica @ Mixed Gems recently posted…A Poetic Adventure